a title for my blog

houston skyline

2010-11-29T15:21:00.002-06:00

piano

2010-10-31T17:47:00.001-05:00

dad's motorcycle

2010-10-26T17:43:00.003-05:00

i started sketching last summer...

2010-10-25T16:54:00.002-05:00

here's a house in the outer banks, nc:

bull shoals 09

2009-07-04T09:54:00.017-05:00

so, we just got back from our annual bull shoals excursion. i wanted to post an image viewer with slide advancement and witty captions and junk, but my computer skills won't allow it. i did, however, find this sweet tool on picasa that creates a collage for your enjoyment.

From Bull Shoals 09

Back from Honduras

2009-03-21T11:07:00.001-05:00

Hola Supporters-

I am back from Honduras and you should know that it was a phenomenal trip. I am so thankful for your support financially and/or prayerfully.

There’s so much to tell and I hope to be able to share stories with each one of you.

This was my first international trip (excluding a couple very brief Mexico trips, which don’t really count because it might as well have been a border town in the States with a bunch of dogs). If you’ve traveled to a 3rd world country before, you know it can be a life-changing experience and this one fell nothing short of that. The timing was impeccable; I had really begun to feel overwhelmed with medical school and was losing my view of the end goal, but this trip (and encouragement from my lovely wife) re-motivated and reminded me why I want to be a doctor: to help those in need.

You got a bit of the concept of the trip from Ali’s email, but let me fill you in a bit more. The purpose of the trip was to set up a free clinic in a place with virtually no access to healthcare for 4 days. The intent of this trip was not to get in, gain some experience, and get out never to come back again; this trip was planned in partnership with Baylor College of Medicine, who is committed to a long-term relationship with the people of Santa Ana, Honduras. Oh yeah, don’t try to find Santa Ana on Google Maps or anything; it’s literally ‘off the map.’ We were able to bring quite a bit of donated medical supplies with us.

Each day, folks would show up in the morning and line the walls of the clinic before I even woke up (we slept at the clinic). You get used to the sound of roosters pretty quickly- I think their internal clocked was completely jacked because they pretty much thought it was morning all night. The patients would wait patiently (pun intended) sometimes up to 4 hours to be seen. A patient would check in and be assigned a number, and then 2 or 3 medical students would take vitals (heart rate, respiratory rate, blood pressure,…). After vitals, the patient would wait for a room to open up at which time a medical student would take their history and perform the appropriate exam. If any lab diagnostics were need, the student would send the patient to the lab. The types of test we would run in the lab you ask? – mostly glucose level, urine analysis, pregnancy test, and hemotocrit. The student would present the case to the attending physician (we had two) and a diagnosis and plan were created. After that, the patient went to the pharmacy to get their prescription filled and they were off. All of this took place within the clinic. Oh yeah, all of this took place in Spanish. We had translators and, fortunately, both attending physicians spoke fluently. I can now carry on the equivalent of a 2 yr. old conversation in Spanish, which doesn’t get me very far except for laughed at.

The clinic was entirely student-run, so it was quite the learning experience for all of us. Ali mentioned Dr. Johnson (the attending that traveled with us)- I gleaned a ton from him. He’s a strong Christian with a real passion for social justice, so I dug him.

Let me tell you a little about the people in Honduras: they were patient, gracious, kind, hard working, respectful, and generally in really great shape. I saw an 86 yr. old man who walked to the clinic, get this, from 6 hours away that could reach down a touch his toes. In fact, all the old people could do that. There was no obesity epidemic like in the States. I expected to see some diabetes, but nothing. These people were so starved for access to care that they would come in from villages that were hours away. Their medical complications were generally treatable- bacterial infections, GI tract worms, fungal infections, pain, allergies,… There were, however, preventable complications that we just didn’t have the means to treat. In the States, it wouldn’t have been a problem…

The Honduran government provides very basic care for the entire population, but if you live in a city and are middle-class, you get private care. The rural communities are COMPLETELY left out because there’s absolutely nothing around. On that note, education is free for children (up to a certain grade) just like here, but the schools don’t have any books, and the students’ families have to purchase them in addition to uniforms. Families are way too poor to afford books and uniforms as well as their basic necessities; because of this, many children stop attending school after about 5th or 6th grade. About 5 years ago, the people of Santa Ana were able to get electricity. Since the government was not willing to help out, the people ran the electricity themselves! Amazing! To me, there’s an obvious ploy by the government to suppress the voice of the poor and maintain control.

Switching gears, what did we do for fun? Futbol! That’s soccer for all you westerners. These kids would play in their bare feet on a terribly uneven surface with no grass, and still slaughter us. In fact, the only 3 scores that the Americans had all week came from Hondurans that we recruited to be on our team. Every day at 5pm, it was a big event for the town…even for El Salvador. I didn’t mention that Santa Ana is right on the El Salvadoran border. I’ve actually been to two Central American countries now. Kind of far removed from our border concerns here- I would just walk over and hang with the kids in El Salvador. Everyone got along. The food was excellent too! Nothing processed, everything home-cooked by las cocineras. If you ever get the chance to have a pupusa, jump all over it.

At the end of the trip, one of the students said that he thought the experience would make him grateful and appreciative for what he had back home, but instead he was grateful and appreciative of what the people in Santa Ana had- a tremendous sense of community (I guess that’s what no tv does). I guess that pretty much sums it up.

Here’s a link to some pictures: http://picasaweb.google.com/bcooper876/Honduras#.

Well, I’m tired of writing and, like I said, I have plenty more stories that I’d love to share with you. I’m sorry for the novel.

Adios,
ben

25 Most Influential Albums in My Life - What Are Yours?

2009-03-18T18:02:00.003-05:00

disclaimer: i’m not going to proofread this, so get over the errors (kyle)

1. august and everything after - counting crows
as close to perfection as one could hope. if i had to listen to one album for the rest of my life, this is it. they continue to put out solid work, but i think their best effort is probably the one that required the least effort.

2. heartbreaker - ryan adams
if i was only allowed to play one album on my guitar for the rest of my life, this would be it. timeless. classic. this was before ryan passed the cigarette threshold and jacked up his voice with ridiculous vibrato. because of this album, gold, and love is hell, i will buy every one of his albums despite how bad it may suck. wonder how mandy moore will affect his music? or how he'll affect hers...

NOTE: from here on there is no order

3. devils and dust - bruce springsteen
i'm not a huge bruce springsteen fan, but this album is rock solid. it's an acoustic masterpiece with phenomenal lyrics.

4. soft spot - clem snide
you can't go wrong with a name like eef barzelay. kyle introduced this album to me back in '03 and it is folk perfection. never gets old.

5. viva la vida - coldplay
maybe a bit premature on this one, but i think it's worthy. people knocked this when it first came out...not sure why. it's standard coldplay and i have to pick a coldplay album, so this is it. i don't think any other band can make simple chord progressions sound so cool. i was a little worried that this album was going to sound forced because i read an article with chris martin that sad he was having writer's block, but it sounds so smooth. can't go wrong with the king of ambient producing (brian eno).

6. O - damien rice
there's opera on this album, and i dig it. raw. emotion. unfortunately, his more recent efforts fall short.

7. crash - dave matthews band
the first time i heard "crash into me" i was like you can't say that on the radio. this is dmb at their peak. jamminess at its height. every song is phenomenal.

8. life in slow motion - david gray
this guy is a hidden gem. i think i read once that white ladder outsold the joshua tree in ireland. and i'm pretty sure he's british. i'm too lazy to corroborate these statements. anyways, folk is his game and he's that good at it. between white ladder and life in slow motion, i like life... a bit more. ain't no love kills me every time. strong. real strong.

9. mockingbird - derek webb
i'm actually not a huge fan of this album musically because i can't get over the double voice, but lyrically...wow! i remember being blown away that someone was finally saying these things.

10. cracked rear view - hootie and the blowfish
these guys got a bad wrap from the musical community. i guess they were too catchy or something. but this album is worthy. simple, yes, but darius rucker knows how to win you over. he's apparently singing country now because i think i saw his name on the marquee for the houston rodeo. if i were going to listen to country, i'd do it for darius.

11. our endless numbered days - iron and wine
despite his binomial name, it's only one dude. his voice is so damn soothing.

12. twentysomething - jamie cullum
the first time i ever saw this dude he was laid out on his piano performing some sort of british wrestling maneuver at an austin city limits performance on pbs. he's that into his music. i even dig his cover of jimi. this jazzy album always makes it on my play list.

13. continuum - john mayer
i could do without john's hollywood conversion as of the past couple of years. he talks like he wants everyone to think he's so profound and cool. but i can't deny his music. i first heard that popular song off of room for squares in los angeles and i remember his voice and style being like nothing i'd ever heard. and then i heard neon, and anyone who plays guitar knows how good he is. he sounds like stevie ray live. this album really grew on me. spends some time with it. he says a lot.

14. fall, winter, spring, summer - jon foreman
i don't need to say anything about these ep's except for this: buy them. now.

15. in harbors gray - kyle lent
i'm a little biased, but this is an example of someone who has an undeniable gift. probably the most talented musician in my ipod. he puts a lot of emotion into this album and he produced it just the right amount. there's no reason this guy isn't really freakin' famous right now other than you need to buy the album and tell everyone you know about it.

16. mute math - mute math
i've never heard a band use percussion like they do. they don't just keep the beat with percussion, they make music with it. no one compares to them right now, but i'm sure many will attempt to copy.

17. let it bleed - the rolling stones
this album is way ahead of it's time. you get a little of everything on it - rock, folk, country, and even choir. i don't own any other stones albums, but i still feel confident in saying this is their best.

18. surfacing - sarah mclachlan
still a favorite to play when we're having people over and can't figure out what to put on. every song is a masterpiece. there's a reason that she puts so much space between her albums...she makes sure they're that good before she records. i used to listen to this album way more than anyone without mental disturbances should listen to it. it was like my catcher in the rye for about a year.

19. takk - sigur ros
so, i watched this sigur ros documentary. beautiful. they use crescendo like no one else. and the bow on the guitar? - sick!

20. exile - steve reynolds
i heard him one day on xm radio, and...acoustic perfection. this dude's flawless on the guitar and his voice sounds a lot like kyle lent's. this album should be standard in everyone's library; unfortunately, he's little known.

21. illinois - sufjan stevens
what was that band that is such a big influence on him?...the danielson family band or something like that. anyways...bizarre! you can actually hear their influences. sufjan is a master at folk. period.

22. poetry & airplanes - teitur
i hesitate to put this one in the list because of how terrible his follow-up albums are, but i digress. if i'm judging this album on its own merit, it deserves a spot in my top 25. and, besides, i used to play 'i was just thinking' to ali while we were dating, so i have nostalgic feelings for it.

23. bringing down the horse - wallflowers
jakob dylan still puts out really good work. his voice is so raw. and good. i think adam duritz actually sings backup on 6th avenue heartache. adam and jakob...strong combo. great collection of songs.

24. achtung baby - u2
i remember my parents taking this album from me when they won some grammy's for it because they cursed like sailors during their acceptance speech. anyways. one, who's gonna ride your wild horses, mysterious ways, tryin' to throw your arms around the world,...all on the same album...you've got to be kidding me. just like everything they touched in the 80's and 90's - gold.

25. wildflowers - tom petty
i don't listen to this album as much as i should, but this is by far his best effort. he is definitely the king of 3 chord songs, but he can pull it off. this dude's got a sick music library, too! he's a true fan of music.

iked!

2008-09-14T14:04:00.007-05:00

i'll add captions to these at some point.

donald miller and the dnc - peas and carrots

2008-08-29T22:52:00.002-05:00

bigotry?

2008-08-24T21:55:00.008-05:00

what makes you paint others with a broad brush? is it fair?

i'm saddened by the fact that i've had numerous encounters as of late where i've witnessed blatant bigotry...and i was spineless every time. i didn't speak up. i did nothing. even worse, i may have even chuckled with the "joke" on the outside while my heart within me was broken.

i'm not sure how to confront it.

if a person is born in a communist country, does it devalue their personhood? do you see him/her as a person...or a "commi?"

what if a person is homeless? do you curse them under your breath or in your mind? wait until later so that you can mock them with your friends? do you avoid their stench at all costs? is your fear rational? have you heard stories about how dangerous they are? do you have a just reason to superimpose that story on every homeless person? would you believe me if i told you from experience that he/she is more afraid of you than you are of him/her?

did you know that no one can steal from you, if you give to them? it doesn't even have to be $, just a conversation will suffice.

what if i told you that if you treated them with human dignity and looked them in the eyes, you could help restore them? would you believe that? or would you choose to believe only the cynical stories?

i'm i naive?

wow...that's a lot of rhetorical questions.

what's always separated our species is our ability to sympathize, or even empathize.

"when we let go of our compassion, we lose claim to whatever divinity we had." -bruce springstein

by the way, i'm not going to be silent next time.

starting medical school tomorrow...

2008-08-17T16:33:00.006-05:00

so i may be out of commission for about four years.

fair trade

2008-08-08T17:18:00.006-05:00

i've had a few recent conversations where fair trade has come up. it seems like one of the largest hurdles to overcoming extreme poverty and human rights violations is simply education. i don't profess to be well educated on the pressing social issues of our day, but as i'm currently enjoying a cup of fair trade coffee at taft street coffee (attached to ecclesia, in houston), it seems reasonable to do my part.

the international justice mission website says that "more children, women and men are held in slavery right now than over the course of the entire trans-atlantic slave trade: millions toil in bondage, their work and even their bodies the property of an owner." most of us, including myself, aren't even aware that we support slavery with the consumer-driven products we buy, but we do. for instance, coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world, and when you purchase $5 coffee at starbucks, who refuses to purchase fairly traded coffee and would rather purchase coffee at extremely low world prices while maintaining high consumer prices, the corporation pockets the difference. as a christian, or a human for that matter, this is very disturbing. there's an entire campaign to break this corporate stronghold and alleviate the impoverishment of coffee farmers and their communities.

to sum up fair trade, here's the criteria a product must meet to be considered "fair trade":

Paying a fair wage in the local context
Offering employees opportunities for advancement
Engaging in environmentally sustainable practices
Being open to public accountability
Building long-term trade relationships
Providing healthy and safe working conditions within the local context
Providing financial and technical assistance to producers whenever possible
Ensuring that there is no abuse of child labor

since i recently posted on commerce without morality and pleasure without conscience, i feel accountable to try to better educate myself, and act accordingly. thought you may be interested.

mall-o-dramatic

2008-08-07T18:07:00.006-05:00

ali and i went to the galleria today. it's not something i make a habit of doing. i needed shoes and she needed something. i didn't walk away in a new pair of shoes, but i did walk away with a headache.

there's something about malls that a) confuse me, and b) make my head hurt. as soon as i enter i loose all sense of direction. i feel like a blind pavlov's dog without an owner. i know there's something i'm supposed to want because a thousand advertisements give me their best sales pitch, but i don't know what it is.

i'm quite certain i've unlocked every marketers' code for selling handbags, watches, sunglasses, organic tea, (fill in the blank)- put a breast next to it. they've done a bang up job convincing every teeny bopper (and everyone else, for that matter) that they can actually wear their self-worth. don't believe me? how often do you slow down when you pass a mirror in the department store or a glass window? everyone does...i do too.

how come the perfume section of every department store has more employees than customers? and every employee is so numb to smell that they have to overstimulate the hell out of everyone else's olfactory bulbs. they use adjectives that don't go with smell like "soft" and "accentuating."

every mall's only saving grace- the pretzel stand with the glaze dip.

boston rocks

2008-08-03T16:39:00.003-05:00

ali and i just returned from boston where i speant time perfecting my accent. it's a beautiful and vibrant city. lots of culture, history, arts, red sox, and sam adams.

enjoy this picture of fenway pahk.

low bloggage rate

2008-07-28T16:33:00.001-05:00

...i'm not gonna force...give it time.

seven deadly sins

2008-07-10T11:19:00.005-05:00

ghandi's version of the seven deadly sins:

- politics without principle
- wealth without work
- commerce without morality
- pleasure without conscience
- education without character
- science without humanity
- worship without sacrifice

"we have inherited a particularly greek way of understanding the truth- that we simply master a body of material and then repeat it back on cue or merely implement the things we have learned...but for the hebrews, living was meant to change thinking...[the hebrew way] is both more biblical and more revealing of how most of us really do learn and change." - jim wallis

in light of the above deadly sins, in what way would you change your lifestyle in order to change your thinking?

i would say that sacrifice doesn't enter the worship equation for me. i like to worship on my own terms- my own time, my own style- often to to neglect of others' and God's.

how to change my lifestyle so that my thinking changes?...i'll have to think about that...

in arkansas...

2008-07-03T10:40:00.008-05:00

to terry and libby

2008-06-16T11:38:00.003-05:00

Let me tell you what you’ve meant to Ali and me:

You’ve been the model family for us. I know that when we’re parents we won’t be just like you, but I want to be anyways. If you’re not shaking your head outwardly right now, you’re doing that inside because you’re too humble to admit how great you are. You’re thinking that we don’t see all the failed moments when others aren’t looking. If you fail at all, you fail well and gracefully. Eli and Eden wouldn’t idolize you the way they do if you didn’t. I love that y’all don’t conform. You may think you do in many ways, but believe me (the bystander) that you truly “no longer conform to the patterns of this world” as Paul writes. A few examples:

Somehow you’ve managed to stay culturally relevant despite the American family trend of isolation. You’re into music, mostly good music (I’m thinking of James Blunt right now), art like Libby’s photography, blogging, and social causes. I’ll never forget our first visit to your life group. I remember thinking that this was an alive group of Christians who weren’t afraid to bring their faith into the public, social realm. Y’all were talking about oppression and how we support it with products that we buy, homelessness, and the new monastic movement. Finally!...a group of Christians that cared about caring for neighbors- locally and abroad. You are refreshing. I remember at Arby’s, you were concerned about making sure you sent Eli to a diverse school where he could interact with other kids not like him. I deeply admire how you’ve exposed Eli and Eden to life…real life…like Herman and our other homeless friends. I appreciate how you are so honest with your children. By that I don’t mean just not telling them lies, but rather the open way you live your lives.

Libby, you’re by far the hippest mom. It doesn’t surprise me at all that you have a tattoo. I wonder if Eden knows how lucky she is to have a mom like you- a mom who looks out for the interests of her at the expense of her own, a mom who embraces uniqueness with the name she’s given her, a mom who bears humility, compassion, servitude, and sadness unashamedly and honestly. I wonder if Terry knows how lucky he is to have someone as supportive as you. I’ve grown to love Terry and his indecision, and have told him multiple times that I will never go to the voting booth with him, but I know it must be frustrating at times for you. Are we moving? Where? Will he quit his job? Before he gets a new one? What does he want to do? To what extent am I factored in to this decision? Is it selfish of me to not want him to make any changes at all? These must be a few questions that you’d like answers to about 3 years ago. I can assure you that Terry factors you and the kids into his decision-making (or indecision-making) more than himself. Through all the unanswered questions, you’re supportive. Terry told me that there was this job in Cali that he wasn’t even that interested in, but since you thought he actually may have been interested but didn’t want to admit it, you encouraged him to apply even though you don’t have any interest in moving that far away. That’s love, but I expect it from you.

Terry, in many ways, you’re the most challenging person I’ve ever known (in a good way). You don’t preach, you wouldn’t be any good at it if you did, but you question things like the status quo. When Gary Soulsman asked me to describe you, I told him that you were “game”- meaning that you’re down for almost anything. With your personality, you create an environment where no one’s ideas are insignificant. You’ll even help them follow through with them. Here’s a few examples: taking homeless people out to lunch, Herman’s bridge (your idea, but you made it happen), your embrace of different political perspectives (i.e. your faith and politics series with the life group), and the way you lead the worship band. Everyone’s thoughts are meaningful. You’re “game.” You challenge me by the way you love your family. I wonder if Eli knows how lucky he is to have such a patient, mild-mannered dad. I know you think you have a temper, but if you do, it’s slow to anger. We have stories that undeniably bind us for eternity. How many friends have shared a meal with a traveling blues man that serenaded the waitress with impromptu lyrics?...or been rejected for free lunch offers in such weird ways?...or had a homeless man tell them they were Jesus in the flesh?...or questioned someone who thought we would turn him into the IRS?...or bought a meal for someone that we weren’t even sure existed yet? I am better for knowing you.

You ready for a cliché? We’ll miss you more than words can express!

moving...

2008-06-12T22:08:00.017-05:00

sorry for the lame blogging (or lack of lame blogging). ali and i are in the midst of moving. we're currently homeless, but some friends of ours, josh and christie, have been kind enough to take us in. it's nice because they have lots of cereal. we'll be packing up the silver lining (the camry) with the cats (which i'm dreading) and heading out next wednesday. those of you who know my style understand that 'road trip' and 'plan' aren't two words i use in the same breath, but marriage does crazy weird things to you. here's the road trip plan with stops included.

View Larger Map

we officially move in on june 23. we'll accept all visitors as long as you bring cereal.

jim wallis: great awakening

2008-05-20T21:24:00.009-05:00

a while ago, i read God's Politics by jim wallis and found it truthful and convicting. he has a way of articulating a loving approach to politics in the midst of an incredibly polarized nation. recently, kyle sent me this book:

you should read it. check this out:

"Neither the political conservatives nor the liberals much engaged with actual poor people. Most conservatives did not know any poor people or families to test their assumptions about poverty and, if they ever did come into real contact, those assumptions often changed. Many liberals had little more relationship to poor people than conservatives, and generally regarded 'the poor' as objects more than as subjects in social problem solving. Doing things for rather than with poor people became the liberal strategy."

most of what terry and i want to achieve with our homeless lunches is to treat "the poor" as subjects and do things with them. we've said before that we're not necessarily trying to solve the problem of homelessness or poverty, but we recognize that establishing a connection with them is the beginning of the solution.

emergent: the divisive debate

2008-05-09T16:12:00.015-05:00

christians are the worst at using the bible to support their agenda. apparently, there are entire blogs devoted to bashing people like rob bell or brian mclaren. what's more, they 'support' their slanderous attacks with scripture. simply put, it's really bad religion. good religion reconciles, mediates, it clothes itself in humility. you can make the bible say anything you want if you twist context. this shouldn't be a surprise to anyone (especially christians). history reveals that christians have used scripture to murder millions, support slavery, and deny women basic rights. this is how it works; let's take some scripture:

"for there are many rebellious people, mere talkers and deceivers...they must be silenced, because they are ruining whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain." - titus 1:10-11

now, let's make it fit the agenda we want. rob bell is a heretic because paul says so. let's make sure everyone knows.

this sounds silly, but it happens, and it's so divisive. can we be honest about this? this sort of debate stems from fear. fear of your theology or belief system being threatened. immediate defense of your belief system ensues, and the best way you can think to defend your beliefs?...trash someone else's. i don't mean to blow this out of proportion or simplify a complex issue, but this is, by and large, how wars start- fear.

allow me to make an observation from scripture: rules are way too simplistic. they require absolutely no thought. that's why the bible says something like "thou shalt have no other gods before me." it requires thought and interpretation. it'd be a lot easier if God had just told us not to buy a luxury SUV or a million dollar mansion (or in my case, don't read blogs more than 15 minutes a day), but that would require no thought. through wrestling with interpretation, we grow spiritually. (i ganked most of that from my pastor, rick). "rob bell is a heretic" is way too simplistic. you never see anything that narrow-minded in scripture. in fact, when people gang up on others, God says this:

"If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger and malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed...you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings."

i'll not comment on rob bell or brian mclaren's theology, but i will say this- i'm infinitely more attracted to the teaching of someone who acts like jesus than someone who is unable to converse and treat others with respect and love, regardless of their beliefs.

jon foreman: fall, winter, spring, summer

2008-05-07T20:08:00.022-05:00

ok you music connoisseurs, those of you who know me understand my high ipod barriers to entry. suffice it to say that i have at least 60 gigs left on my ipod and even though kelly clarkson may adorn the hard drive (not my fault), she's shan't pollute said ipod with her digital carbon emissions. it's unthinkable. that's right...shan't.

jon foreman has put forth a series of acoustic masterpieces that belongs in everyone's collection. for me, this collection of ep's joins the likes of august and everything after (coutning crows), gold (ryan adams), abbey road (seriously?), and surfacing (sarah mclachlan).

each ep (fall, winter, spring, and summer) distinctly represents the mood of the season that bears its name. fall and winter embrace the deep melancholy while spring ushers in the hope of restoration. summer is not out yet, but since history is a good predictor of future, summer will be stellar. musically, the albums are heavily acoustic. percussion is minimal, and horns and the occasional harmonica paint the atmosphere. the combination is therapeutic. lyrically, they sympathize with the gauntlet of human emotions.

fall...

fall starts out looking for the cure for the pain. southbound train touches on nostalgia and the longing to belong. equally skilled is adapted directly from micah 7- hopelessness and misery; it's a confession.

winter...

winter starts with death (as winter does) in learning how to die. somebody's baby reminds us that we're all connected as neighbors even when we forget it. white as snow is a sincere confessional prayer taken from psalm 51. winter ends with desire for hope in the face of pain (i am still running).

spring...

spring is more joyful. blithesome with march. your love is strong is a mosaic of gospel encouragements centered around the lord's prayer. i'm not sure i've heard a more moving song this year. he definitely stole a page from sufjan stevens' book with baptize my mind. spring has a strange end- revenge accurately depicts its consuming misery.

herman's bridge map

2008-04-30T16:07:00.003-05:00

check out where the dollars are coming from. if this isn't making sense to you, start here.

View Larger Map

a simple thank you

2008-04-20T17:49:00.010-05:00

the response to our experiment (with herman) has been overwhelming. thanks for everyone's interest and participation. if anything, this experiment has already taught terry and i about the immeasurable ability of people to respond to the needs of our neighbor (even if he's thousands of miles away) and the organizing power of blogs...especially when jason boyett, of relevant magaine, gets involved.

it's also taught me that i don't think big enough, but terry does.

updates to come soon.

until then, we've had another financial backer approach us and offer to match up to an additional $500. that means we need 500 more people. so, keep spreading the word. peace.

biggish small news- what can 1 dollar really do?

2008-04-17T06:51:00.003-05:00

click the picture to find out.

the days of love

2008-04-16T14:17:00.012-05:00

if you don't get this album, you're doing the world a great disservice.

seriously....

seriously...

weak blogging

2008-04-11T08:45:00.004-05:00

so...my blogging has been lame lately. i make no apologies. it's been so weak, in fact, that i'm now resorting to a shameful update post. if you're either one of my usual readers, then you undoubtedly know that we're moving to houston towards the end of june. if you're not, you've accidentally stumbled upon my blog by googling something random like 'texas lent propaganda.' it's not that i haven't had anything to write about, i just haven't written about it. i suppose it's laziness, but an episode of scrubs is more appealing than blogging, lately. terry and i have initiated a book project. basically, the idea is to chronicle our homeless stories. some really cool things have happened over the past couple of months. but, that's another post. it (the book) will probably take years to compile because terry and i are both way too mellow to put a time frame around this.

i'll take this opportunity to say that i watched jordin sparks and chris brown perform a ridiculous pop song that someone wrote for them last night on american idol. i guess i hadn't realized how far 'the kid's' music had evolved from nirvana. i'm determined to make sure my kids are raised with good musical taste, but ali reminds me that almost everyone goes through 'the phase.' it should be noted that i'm rooting for jason castro (the dreadlocks guy).

back to the update. we'll be moving from the east coast soon and it's bitter-sweet. we've met some incredible people out here that have changed the way we view community, the east coast, and the world. we'll miss them dearly.

it's good to be back

2008-03-24T10:29:00.006-05:00

that is all.

herman's bridge

2008-02-06T13:03:00.001-06:00

today, terry and i had one of our most unique homeless lunch experiences. a few weeks ago, we met karen, sharon, and herman under a wilmington bridge. it's herman's home. we asked them if they wanted some lunch but gratefully declined because they had just eaten at the friendship house. we told them we'd check back next time. so we did. this time we met up with karen, herman, and kevin. this time they were hungry. we got to hang out with them, feed them, and give them some clothes that were destined for goodwill. kevin put on his new texas tech sweatshirt right away. it makes me happy that another person is supporting texas tech propaganda. i enjoyed our lunch with them right under herman's bridge, protected from the dreary drizzle. it was so peaceful. after our lunch, someone came by in a state truck and dropped off some bread and milk at herman's. it must have been left over from something. herman said they do that occassionally. the drop-off guy nodded at us and affirmed that we were doing good work. affirmation feels good. before we left, terry did something incredible. he asked them if they needed prayer and if we could pray for them. it was perfectly timed because right then, sharon (karen's cousin) walked by with john. every one under herman's bridge was so enthused about praying. sharon and john both said "oh yeah! i need some of that!" we circled and held hands. terry's prayer was perfect. i'm not sure i've ever been as excited about prayer as they were. i've never accepted someone's request to pray for me like they did. i've never realized the sort of dependence on prayer that they did. stupid pride.

there's something so spiritually reviving about literally fleshing out jesus' message to feed the hungry. you've got to try it. if i'm honest with myself i literally follow jesus like once every couple of weeks. i can talk about and admire the red letters about giving to the needy, not judging, loving your enemies, not worrying, fasting, unlimited forgiveness, prayer.... i can think of a thousand reasons why i shouldn't take jesus' words literally. mostly driven by fear. i could always be quick to judge and offer no sympathy because they should get a job...or because if i feed them, i'm teaching them that they can get something for free without any work and i'm fostering laziness. lies. all thousand reasons- lies. you realize the excuses for what they are when you actually flesh out the red letters. when i live the message, i recognize that my pride is no different than kevin's drug addiction. i realize that i receive something for free everyday- grace. i don't work for it. christ's love literally compels me to physically live the picture of grace. i'm not usually obedient, but it's so organic the few times i am. it's so real.

p.s. i'm taking a break from blogging for lent. i have no problem with blogs, in fact, i think (most of the time) they're a really good thing. it's just that i've realized that it can sometimes be a little obsessive for me. i'll probably still use my account for journaling, i just won't publish anything. i won't be checking blogs or commenting or even reading my comments. it's not permanent. just a lent thing. i'm going to try to use the time that i would be blogging to write letters. i'll let you know how it went in forty days. later.

office lexicon

2008-02-01T22:26:00.001-06:00

now that i'm back in "the man's" grip, i'm exposed to the daily shameful office vernacular. if you work or have ever worked in such an environment (and/or if you've seen office space) you can appreciate these all too well. every office has its own foreign language, but i'm trying to keep it pretty general. i'd venture to say that on any given day, in any corporate office in america, one of the following phrases can be heard:

- hey there [enter name here]...workin' hard or hardly workin'?
- let's do lunch sometime. (i would say that i'm a connoisseur of unrealized lunch invites. i collect them like baseball cards)
- i've got a one o'clock (before the corporate workplace, no one would have claimed a "one o'clock." it used to refer to a time that came twice a day, not a meeting)
- havin' fun? well...are you at least makin' money? hey, that's fun. (honest...i get this at least once a week)
- another day another dollar
- same $h!t, different day
- i'd like to back up and take a 30,000 foot view. (why 30,000? always,...30,000)
- here comes trouble.
- keep this one on your radar.
- you're not letting so and so corrupt you, are you?
- no, no...i'm trying not to corrupt so and so. (followed by desperate laughter...or is it crying?)
- right now i'm having difficulties seeing through the weeds. (outdoors analogies are imperative to maintain semi-sanity)
- did you get that memo i sent?
- i'd like us to be on the same page...
- we'll touch base next week. (translation: i don't want to talk to you right now. i don't even want to talk with you next week. i'm counting on you forgetting this conversation ever took place. look into this light.)

please comment and add to the list. what are some standard phrases where you work?

life sucked before you...

2008-01-31T09:57:00.001-06:00

i didn't know it at the time.

happy 25th b-day

2008-01-20T05:54:00.002-06:00

let's take a look at some major accomplishments this past year:

- you've single-handedly prepared k-8th graders to give 4 rockin' concerts
- you won all of our bread when i decided to quit to pursue more school
- you successfully went on an alcohol fast for like 5 months
- you wrote and recorded your own album
- you killed six seasons of gilmore girls
- you've lead a lifegroup/bible study for young married couples
- you became an aunt. (i guess that's not really something you accomplished, but it's worth mentioning anyways)
- you didn't get pregnant
- you successfully made me on time for church every time we went except once
- and most of all...you bought me a strat for christmas

happy birthday!

p.s. this was supposed to go up on your birthday (sunday)

5 really lyrically profound songs that you should buy

2008-01-16T20:12:00.001-06:00

in no particular order:
1. equally skilled - jon foreman
2. masters of war - bob dylan
3. rich young ruler - derek webb
4. waiting for the other shoe to fall - kyle lent
5. john wayne gacy, jr. - sufjan stevens

wasting time in the waiting line

2008-01-04T19:32:00.003-06:00

i'm in the airport a couple of weeks ago and much to every dallas-bound american airlines passenger's chagrin, the flight was delayed. you'd think that people just found out hitler was their pilot the way they react when they hear the news of a delay. i think if people would learn to read they wouldn't care so much. the telephone game started. i heard that the flight changed gates. mass exodus from gate a18 over to a14. then, the flight was cancelled. mass hysteria. then the airline was supposedly going to offer lunch vouchers to lull the rising mob into rest and digest mode. that was my favorite rumor. i continued to read during the confusion. i figured trying to understand was a lost cause and would result in further confusion and frustration...like every time i play golf. so i mostly ignored the debacle except to summon an occasional chuckle. you wouldn't believe the mob's mad dash to return to the original gate (where i was stationed the whole time). not a clue as to why the dash was warranted. any outside spectator would have been sure the beatles reconvened right there at gate a18. all four of them. i heard one woman yell at her husband: "you better hold your position in line!!!" my well-meaning wife strongly encouraged me to get in line. i wasn't going to stand in a line i wasn't sure i believed in. she had heard that the line was to re-arrange your travel plans because the flight was cancelled. i still didn't believe in the line, but i do believe in the wrath of a woman. i joined the line. the man in front of me looked as confused as i did. i asked him why we were in line. he didn't know why. i told him my wife made me. "smart move," he said. once someone (from american airlines) finally showed up, she told us to sit down and that we would begin boarding shortly.

a couple times this past year, i've been fortunate to teach the college students on sundays at our church. they had been going through the psalms. one sunday i got to teach on psalm 46. it's crazy how alive and active the bible is. it still speaks to us today. right now. this particular psalm talks about how nations are in an uproar and kingdoms are falling (i.e. war), but through all of this, God is with us and we're not afraid. though our government may practice a foreign policy largely based on fear, we don't have to buy into it because God is our refuge and He "makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; He breaks the bow and shatters the spear, He burns the shields with fire." i believe that if we don't let orange alerts inform our beliefs and don't waste time in the waiting line of fear, even when everyone else is paralyzed by it, God will use us to bring about peace.

cigarettes and orange slices

2007-12-20T16:08:00.001-06:00

so, either james stood us up or we missed him somehow. we left him a note at the sunday breakfast mission in case he's a millionaire and wants to give us $...or if he just wants to grab some lunch. we checked out the friendship house too. no james. but sonny "the blues man" recognized us. he asked how we were doing financially. i wasn't sure how to answer that one. not that great, but way better than you. terry deciphered the code and asked what he needed. "cigarettes." off to the drug store where about $18 can buy you two sandwiches, two sodas, four packages of orange slices, and a pack of extra long menthols. cash only. i conveniently almost never carry cash...thanks, terry. our only request was that he share. he said he always does. i believe him. i think cigarettes and orange slices would make a great title for the book that i'll never write. ohh...there's another good one- the book that i'll never write.

real hope for lieutenant james

2007-12-17T20:06:00.002-06:00

last week terry and i met james in the parking lot of the sunday breakfast mission in wilmington. james was pretty certain he had met us before at the train station. or was it rodney square? or sunday breakfast mission? yes, according to james it was any and all of these places. read terry's first account here and second one here. james has fallen on some difficult times. times that i can't comprehend. he's a marine like the way that i'm tall and lanky- it's who he is. no getting around it. he returned in 2006 from afghanistan. he's been homeless since. welcome home. he has testicular cancer. he has no family in the area. his father passed away last christmas season and this is the first one he's had without him. he said the hardest part about being homeless is having to ask people for help. the best part? no longer taking friendships and shelter for granted. there's real hope for lieutenant james and that excites terry and i. it's great taking homeless people out to lunch. really great. we meet the most intriguing characters in the world. the people we've met are friendly despite their circumstances, wise because of their circumstances, generous while having so little, and most are hopeful in the face of a situation that should breed cynicism. they look like jesus. while our lunches are great, sometimes the complexity of their situation is a little overwhelming. not overwhelming in the sense that i stress out about it. or that i'm unable to enjoy the meals. overwhelming in the sense that it's difficult to know how to really help someone stuck in the cycle of poverty. james just inherited a large sum of money and a home from his deceased father. he needed a few bucks to pay the fee for a birth certificate so that he could get an id card so that he could...long story short- get the money and the home. we're rooting for him. it'd be great to actually help someone overcome such a devastating situation. he has every intention of paying us back our $21 that we've "lent" him. i told him we didn't care about the money, we just wanted to make sure we were helping him the best way we could. he took offense. "i'm a marine! i'm going to pay you back." ok. today was a good conversation because we got to ask him all those philosophical questions that you want to ask homeless people- what's keeping you from getting off of the streets? is there anything you like about being homeless? do you have any plans for the next few months? do you know sonny (affectionately known as "the blues man")? james has some pretty bizarre tales. for instance, he volunteers for joe biden and helps cops with undercover drug busts. a true renaissance man. terry and i both struggle with skepticism. maybe it's healthy. i'm not sure. but i know that perfect love always trusts. our culture is such that trust has to be earned; not granted unconditionally.

a positive note about the candidates

2007-12-13T12:34:00.003-06:00

i'm not sure how much you've been paying attention to the political race for the candidacies; i've been paying about as much attention as basic cable and occasional internet research let me. i thought i'd take a minute to explain some of the positives that i see in many of the candidates. rest assure, there are many negatives, which emphasizes the need for more than two political options. i'll do my best to overlook the negative for the purpose of this blog. maybe this will help fill you in on candidates positions if you don't already know (at least from my biased point of view).

we'll start with the republicans:

ron paul (congressman, tx)- this is, in my opinion, the single most interesting candidate out there. he's the only republican candidate that voted against the war. he's probably got the most consistent personal integrity of any republican candidate. he has a consistent voting record on all accounts, he's strongly opposed to the patriot act, he's a doctor, and he's been married to the same woman for like 50 years. he asked, "how many innocent civilians in our nation and others are we willing to see killed?" he's a conservative that's not embarrassed about being opposed to needless war in a party that frankly, has supported it endlessly. he reminds everyone that a true conservative position is anti-war. in a world where many view the u.s. as the terrorists, he radically proposes immediate withdrawal from iraq. i like that his entire campaign is grassroots. he's not a billionaire, in fact he won't even accept the congressional pension plan because he doesn't think it's fair to everyone else. he has the most avid supporters probably of any candidate out there. he offers republicans a much needed break from the common rhetoric of their party. he seems to be able to view issues objectively, without a partisan filter. he's the only republican candidate i would consider voting for. even if you completely disagree, you've got to admire someone who legitimately wants to abolish the irs.

rudy guliani (ex-mayor of nyc)- despite pat roberston's endorsement, guliani is losing ground. does this mean the end of the 700 club? one can hope. he drastically reduced crime in nyc. that's all i got.

fred thompson (senator, tn)- i find no redeeming quality about this man. he has complete disregard for the environment, and a face that looks like he carries an iron fist. (so much for remaining positive. hey...i'm trying).

mike huckabee (governor, ar)- he's possibly the only republican candidate that seems to give a crap about the working poor. he's an economic populist, which is sure to excite the republican base. because of that, i'd be real surprised to see him advance to the ticket. he's an ex-preacher and he was born in the same place as president clinton- hope, arkansas. as far as immigration goes (which seems like it's the latest hot topic), if he errs, it's on the side of compassion. he doesn't belive in punishing children of illegal immigrants for the sins of their fathers. instead, he provided a path for legal residency and scholarships for higher education for children of illegal immigrants in arkansas. when questioned by his rivals about his "liberal" position on immigration, his cry?- "we're a better country than to punish children for the mistakes of their parents." he's not afraid to call a lot of immigration reform as "driven by racism."

john mccain (senator, az)- i like his view on the environment. he thinks the concern is real, and possibly understated. he thinks of it like this: what if global warming is a hoax? than all we will have done is clean up the world and make it a better place to live for our children. if it's real and we don't do anything about it?...we've got real problems.

mitt romney (governer, ma)- he's mormon. i don't know much else about him. i was asked by a friend one time if i would have a problem voting for someone of a different religion; that's easy- nope. if i were running i wouldn't want someone to discriminate against me because of my religion. the whole "do unto others" thing.

now, for the dems:

hillary clinton (senator, ny)- i like her health care policy. universal health care- no one gets left behind in the system. her first go 'round in '93 (or whatever it was) was a little extreme for most which is why she couldn't get health care reform passed. this time, it's softer. and it'll probably get support from both parties.

barack obama (senator, il)- he speaks with hope and passion. he's young. i'm pretty sure he's the only democratic candidate that didn't vote for the war in the first place (at least of the major 3). he's in favor of universal health care as well. he's got an interesting background with a muslim, yet confirmed athiest father from kenya and a non-religious mother from kansas. he's since become a christian himself.

john edwards (senator, nc)- i like that he speaks with a southern drawl. i like that he plans to aggressively reduce not only domestic, but global poverty. i like that he cares about the genocide in darfur and that he seems to be committed to the long term interests of the world.

i wrote more about the republicans than the democrats not because i'm republican- i'm actually a registered independent- but, i think the republican race is much more up for grabs than the democratic one. the three dems i mentioned are the only ones with a chance. feel free to mention anything i left out.

my first nephew, daniel

2007-12-06T15:30:00.001-06:00

welcome the latest addition to the cooper family: daniel james cooper. born in stephenville, tx on december 5 at 4:20pm. he's 7 lbs. and a few oz.

apparently, you're supposed to ask all the same questions about child birth as you would about fishing- how big is he? how long is he? how long did it take to reel him in? daniel obviously gets his good looks from uncle ben. hey...that'd make a great t-shirt- "i get my good looks from uncle ben." congratulations to the proud parents- nick and amy cooper. you'll be courageous and merciful parents.

beautiful friends

2007-12-04T13:49:00.001-06:00

i was in texas this past weekend for two medical school interviews. they went well. thanks for asking. i'm a bit older than the average applicant and i have a different story than most. i've lived in little rock, houston, lubbock, colorado springs, flagstaff, and delaware. i was born in new orleans. i married a gorgeous texas girl who moved from new jersey. i have family in texas, colorado, louisiana, and arkansas. i have friends all over. i have the best friends. i can almost never stay in a hotel anywhere i go because i have the best friends ever and we'd both be offended if i didn't stay with them. my story is different. it's not safe. i love it. it was a great weekend. not because the interviews went well, because i got to see and stay with my best friends.

we'll start with kyle. i love kyle like a brother. more than a brother. kyle's wildly creative. he's selling his latest ep for however much you want to pay for it. it's called peace in times of war. a portion of the proceeds will go to http://www.savedarfur.org/. please buy this ep.

i haven't had a good anti-war post in a while, so i'll let kyle's post speak for me. i got to see and stay with him last thursday night in georgetown (austin area). we chatted about faith, war, peace, family, books, movies, and music. he challenges me to make my faith innovative. he encourages me when i need it most. he pays no mind to the status quo. he follows a radical jesus. he's not safe. he needs to shave.

one of the reasons the in-law relationship that's popularized in movies like meet the parents is so funny is because it's relatable. i think it's funny, but i can't relate. i love my mother-in-law, linda, and father-in-law, marty. i like them too. marty and i fished. linda's a little computer challenged, so computer 101 was in order. (no offense linda). all they did was pay for all my meals, give me a place to stay, buy my fishing licence, take friday off to hang out with me, and let me steal their car for like 3 days. they're beyond generous. they have an admirable ability to befriend people that aren't like them- different religion or political ideology. they love people.

i hung out with mike in houston. spent the night at his place and slammed out some guitar hero goodness. mike and i have a remarkable knack for senseless banter. at least it's sensless to everyone else. in our reality, however, obscure robin hood: prince of thieves quotes are commonplace. he can pan fry the hell out of black drum fish. mike makes you laugh when you're around him.

next stop- the mccracken's in san antonio. mike "crack" and melanie "mel mel". they thanked me for staying with them- that's how gracious they are. i hadn't talked with crack since his wedding like 2 years ago, but we hadn't missed a beat. they are both really active in the church that crack's dad pastors. his dad is so encouraging. he said this about church and the twenty-something generation: "my generation is looking for a building, your's is looking for life." i thought that was thick honesty. they're praying for us to end up in san antonio. if you want us somewhere else, it's going to be hard to out-pray them.

to top off the weekend, i was picked up by my beautiful bride at bwi at midnight last night.

quick question: would you be interested in a "what i'm reading" sidebar?

keep God in the equation

2007-11-26T13:05:00.002-06:00

today we fed the masses. by 'masses' i mean 3 guys. i love the reactions we get. they just couldn't understand why. why would we approach these 3 out of all the pedestrians roaming around? terry explained, "no strings." read his account here. why weren't there any strings? why them? i was content living the gospel...not verbalizing it. they practically forced me to share the gospel. i told them that the description jesus gave of judgement day was this: i was hungry and you fed me, i was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, i needed clothes and you clothed me. when the righteous asked "when did we do this for you?" jesus replied, "whenever you did it for someone else, you did it for me" (matt. 25:31-46, ben paraphrase version). after that, perk said he needed a job. i told him i did too. i guess the gospel explanation was acceptable because they were all about getting something to eat after that. sonny was the de facto leader. he played the blues. perk was just hanging out...easy going. he smiled a lot. the third man shall remain nameless. only because he wouldn't tell us. he was suspicious that i was an undercover cop. he finally came to the conclusion that if i was a cop, i would've already known him...and he'd know me. although, he did say i looked familiar (???). sonny had a lot to say. "you gots ta keep God in the equation. dat's what it's all 'bout! i don't care if it's blues or rock 'n' roll. it's got ta lift 'Em up!" he wandered around the states playing his harmonica and singing the blues. terry, myself, and the cashier/waitress at benjamin's sandwich shop wanted a preview of sonny's blues. he was obliged to play right there in the restaurant. he'd play a bar or two and then sign in between. impromptu lyrics...mostly dedicated to the waitress. it was sweet! i asked the nameless man where he liked to play- "all over. sonny goes where sonny wants to go. he's real. he doesn't just talk it. he means it." sonny was real. but then again, nameless guy made him sound like an enigmatic ghost, too. no lie, he actually said this about sonny: "you don't find sonny, sonny finds you." i'm intrigued. here he is.

perk was originally from wilmington, but now calls philly home. he was here "when the bus station was on the corner of 4th and washington. lot's changed since then. these buildings for one. no more music here." except for when sonny comes home (yes, that's a lame attempt at referencing shawn colvin's '97 hit). it was a blast keepin' God in the equation.

bathroom humor

2007-11-18T15:46:00.001-06:00

there are strict, understood rules about proper urinal usage (henceforth referred to as 'the code'). in fact, i remember a computer game in college about the code. the gist is something like this: at all costs, keep your distance from neighboring urinal users. i had a friend in college who purposefully disobeyed said code just to mess with people. he's probably the direct cause of countless men who suffer from urinalphobia- stage fright. it was the code that drove me to this particular urinal. i enjoy restrooms with newspapers and/or ads above the urinals. they enhance the experience. it's a joy females can't appreciate. this is the second time i've seen this particular advertisement and both times i've walked away dumber for it. check out the second (smaller) bullet below.

i've always understood that you don't pay for scholarships or grants, rather they pay for you. this ad annoys me greatly. it ruined my usually enjoyable urinal experience. if i see it again, i'm going to hold it...or use a stall.

the clothes are for charlie

2007-11-14T12:59:00.002-06:00

terry and i had to reschedule our biweekly homeless lunch to today. we walked around rodney square to scope out a victim. we found aubrey, but he goes by charlie. he's not sure why. charlie is a man of few words...i think. i couldn't really hear him. i'd pick out recognizable phrases/words through the mumbling. ...west virginia...dallas cowboys...north market street...son in town...sunday breakfast mission...mcdonalds... terry and i tried our best to maintain a conversation. we did pretty well considering. when we first approached him, he said he needed to take care of something important but appreciated the offer. as we walked away, we decided we should at least introduce ourselves in case we see him again. that's when he succumbed to our perseverance. "migesicngo." subtitle: "i guess i can go." off to our favorite sandwich shop- creatively name 'benjamin's.' charlie was outraged at the prices. $4 for a hamburger! "iiiicugo t' mcdon n' git tooooberrrgrs." subtitle: "i could go to mdconald's and get two burgers." i told him not to worry because terry was paying. i could be exaggerating his speak; terry will call me on it if i am. he seemed a little confused that we just wanted to have lunch with him. no agenda. just lunch. but he didn't seem uncomfortable with it. he wasn't nearly as motivated as eric (or here). eric has big ideas. hopes. dreams. mostly false hopes and dreams. but they keep eric going. from what we could gather, charlie has worked temp jobs his entire life and doesn't have any one thing that he enjoys. no hobbies. he told us where he hung out (which was right where we found him) in case we wanted to invite him again...and we do. terry had the bang-up idea of asking him what he needed. he needs a jacket with lots of pockets like phil jackson (???), shoes, and gloves in preparation for the winter. we're going to dig through our excessive amounts of clothes and deliver them to the home that he's staying at. we got the address. if gayle answers, we're suppossed to let her know that the clothes are for charlie.

autumn in pennsylvania...it's better than autumn in delaware

2007-11-09T22:19:00.001-06:00

when you live on the east coast, you have to savor the moments that you're not in traffic. and take pictures of them.

just easing the mind

2007-11-01T13:53:00.001-05:00

planes aren't made for tall people. i can't really think of anything that's made for tall people. there used to be a store named "big 'n' tall," maybe there still is. i'm not big. just tall. i like the idea of reclining seats in airplanes...go ahead, do your best to enjoy a naturally miserable experience...at the expense of tall people. it's hard to enjoy your complimentary peanuts and soft drink with an non-level tray table. stupid knees. can't sleep because the seat back doesn't support my neck three inches above the cutoff and the recliner in front of me forces perfect posture. i finished my book way too early. that gave me time to observe my desperate situation. would've written, but my bag was in the overhead compartment. bought a 'newsweek' at the airport. i must be getting old because it was between 'newsweek' and 'rolling stone.' there's only so much 'newsweek' one can read. at least i had the pod to keep me company. listened to robbie seay, kyle lent, steve reynolds, the beatles, and derek webb. i have solitaire on my ipod. i'm convinced there's a strategy to it. i haven't found it, but i have found what it's not. i'm not going to give away my secrets, though. a few weeks ago i saw a sign that read: "lost bird." no picture. i'm not sure how that works. hey there neighbor, go ahead...extend your elbows beyond the arm rest. i can handle it. you too!..there on the other side of me. that's why i love the middle seat. these are the random musings i contemplated on my trip home last weekend. getting to lubbock required a brief layover in houston, and then: westward into the sunset. i don't think i've ever seen the sunset from that angle (in the air). if i have, i never noticed it. not a cloud in the sky. gorgeous. flat line, bright orange faded to pink, then light blue, then dark blue as my eyes ascended the horizon. i was glad we were headed west so that the view was prolonged. what's my favorite sunset? i remember sunsets in bull shoals over the lake, but i don't remember one sunset. i guess that makes this sunset my favorite sunset. that's kind of sad, my favorite sunset was shared with 'bad breath' to my right and 'snores-a-lot' to my left. ali and i should see more sunsets. remember more sunsets. i wonder what i do that annoys my neighbors. i wonder if they write about me on their blog. 'perfect-posture-beanstalk' sat in the middle. or 'solitaire-freak.' wonder where we'll be by this time next year. where do i want to be? maybe it will be an easy decision. probably. i've never really had to make any difficult decisions. sometimes decisions are supposed to be difficult, but they're not for me. not really. others may think they're difficult. a little complexity was added to the decision making process when i got married, but not too much. i'm reading johnny cash's autobiography, now. i like this: "i'm thankful i don't have a passion for cars, like so many entertainers who blow all their money that way- my car is almost nine years old and i have no intention of trading it in. i'm thankful that money is not my god, that for me it's a means to an end." i think decisions are easier when money's not your god. i hope it's not mine. there's no real point to this post. just easing the mind.

eric: chapter 2

2007-10-30T18:51:00.002-05:00

read an account of terry and i's 2nd meeting with eric here.

opio and bebo

2007-10-19T22:20:00.001-05:00

i've never been a big, or small, fan of bebo norman's music. i'm still not. but, i recently saw him in concert anyways, and he was good. not his music, it was ok. he spoke after his set, and he was good. it's not easy to talk about poverty. we're so apathetic when it comes to that topic. we're so apt to think, "not another musician who thinks he has a platform launch the 'poverty agenda.'" it's so easy for us to deny poverty given our own conditions. as derek webb puts it: "where we're all living so good that we moved out of jesus' neighborhood where he's hungry and not feeling so good from going through our trash." earlier that day i had received a brochure in the mail about compassion international. compassion is an organization that has the lofty mission of releasing children "from their spiritual, economic, social and physical poverty" by providing an avenue for people to sponser a child for $32/month. they even have an HIV/AIDS initiative. you can visit their website at http://www.compassion.com/. the brochure stated that they were looking for individuals with a passion for social justice. i was so encouraged that bebo had this passion. he spoke about how frustrated he was with our government, with God, and ultimately with God's people. he said he stopped relying on politicians and stopped asking the question, 'where's God?'; instead, he started asking 'where are God's people?' he went on to explain that the description jesus gives in scripture is that whenever we feed the hungry, clothe the naked, or provide shelter for the homeless we literally feed, clothe, or shelter christ. it's unbelievable the conditions with which people are forced to live, and compassion thinks that it's unjust and just plain uncool. that's big. that's global big. compassion works for a better world, not just a better america. ali and i have been humbled to take part in compassion's mission for about 3 years now. here's opio fred.

maybe he'll google his name some day and find this site. that'd be sweet. ali and i aren't sure if we should call him opio or fred. since opio sounds cooler, that's what we usually call him. he likes the real football. i like the fake kind. we still get along, though.

i think it's really cool that stars like brad pitt and angelina jolie talk about making poverty history. i think it would be even cooler if the church started talking more about it. i read a speech that bono gave to washington elites at an africare dinner a few years ago:

so you've been doing God's work, but what's God working on now? what's God working on this year? two and a half million africans are going to die of AIDS. what's God working on now? i meet the people who tell me it's going to take an act of God to stop this plague. well, i don't believe that. i think God is waiting for us to act. in fact, i think that God is on His knees to us, to the church. God is on His knees to us, waiting for us to turn around this supertanker of indifference, our own indifference a lot of the time. that God almighty is on His knees to us- I don't know what that means. waiting for us to recognize that distance can no longer decide who is our neighbor. we can't choose our neighbors anymore. we can't choose the benefits of globalization without some of the responsibilities, and we should remind ourselves that 'love thy neighbor' is not advice: it is a command.

that's a weird thought- God on His knees to us.

the american dream

2007-10-18T10:26:00.001-05:00

if you're not into switchfoot, you should be. their lyrics are incredibly prophetic. and difficult to hear. because there's truth in them.

from american dream off of oh gravity!:

When success is equated with excess. The ambition for excess wrecks us. As top of the mind becomes the bottom line when success is equated with excess. If your time ain't been nothing for money, I start to feel really bad for you, honey. Maybe honey, put your money where your mouth's been running if your time ain't been nothing but money. I want out of this machine, it doesn't feel like freedom. This ain't my American dream. I want to live and die for bigger things I'm tired of fighting for just me. This ain't my American dream. When success is equated with excess, when we're fighting for the Beamer, the Lexus, as the heart and soul breath in the company goals, where success is equated with excess. 'Cause baby's always talkin' 'bout a ring, and talk has always been the cheapest thing. Is it true would you do what I want you to if I show up with the right amount of bling? Like a puppet on a monetary string. Maybe we've been caught singing: Red, white, blue, and green. But that ain't my America, that ain't my American dream.

jeep for sale...

2007-10-08T18:12:00.001-05:00

this thing's loaded- it's got 4 wheels, two headlights, no stereo, fresh armor-all, and a gasoline engine. for you...$8900! hurry, before it accumulates more miles and becomes worth less.

i don't get it!

2007-10-05T10:45:00.001-05:00

it's estimated that about 9 million children don't have health insurance in this country. yesterday, bush vetoed a bill to expand children's health-care insurance program. the plan would have cost something like $35 billion dollars and was supported by many republicans. in my estimation, it's a moral issue. our government shouldn't be permitted to spend over $400 billion dollars on a war (that was declared unjust by the president's own methodist denomination) and ignore our own children. isn't it a christian imperative that we help those who need it? the president balks at the plan calling it government-run health care. i don't think it's appropriate to site a political opinion concerning an issue of helping people. when did this become about politics? someone explain why this is ok.

"doom to you who legislate evil, who make laws that make victims- laws that make misery for the poor, that rob my destitute people of dignity, exploiting defenseless widows, taking advantage of homeless children."
-Isaiah 10:1-2 from the message

eric: chapter 1

2007-10-02T14:54:00.002-05:00

terry and i have been meeting for lunch biweekly for a few months. we've been sharing similar ideas about how to make our words become flesh. we've decided that we're going to start inviting homeless people to our lunches. we started yesterday. unfortunately, terry beat me to the blog press. i'm gonna give it a go anyways. i feel like the word 'awkward' gets thrown around way too frivolously. so much so that when someone says 'awkward,' or worse- sings 'awkward' (like this: 'aawkworrrrrrd')- the situation actually becomes awkward. it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. if there's ever a time to use the word 'awkward,' it's when you accidentally insult a woman's man hands; but, also when your lunch invitation gets rejected by a homeless guy. i guess it shouldn't feel so, but it does. many, many rejections yesterday. there's some really decent homeless kitchens in town, maybe that's why. as we were about to surrender our plans to the hot dog stand, we found eric. he accepted the invitation with hesitation- "i don't have any money." 'no problem,' i thought...'terry's paying for it!' just kidding, terry. i didn't really think that...or did i? anyways, it's always interesting, to say the least, to hear homeless people's stories. who knows how much is fabricated, but it's a good story either way. eric had a master's degree in business from columbia university. he was in hiding from his ex-wife because he couldn't make child support payments and he feared she'd have him thrown into jail. he didn't hesitate to order a cheeseburger, fries, a large coke, and chips. why not? it's on terry! many nights he spent at a 24-hr duncan donuts. a lot of times homeless people have great community. they seem to know each other real well, play chess together, sleep next to each other, eat together, reject lunch offers together, and share cigarettes. not eric. he seemed so lonely. he didn't really get along with the others. he talked about plans to start a real estate business, but i got the sense that he just made up those plans to keep him going. those empty plans give him something to look forward to. terry and i discussed afterwards about how our efforts, while good, seem so insignificant. i don't know how to break eric's cycle of poverty. eric doesn't know. who's going to hire him? he certainly seemed ambitious, but sometimes that's not enough. eric may have made some really poor choices to put him in his current position, but it's not my place to judge; it's my place to help. no one should have to live like that. while i may not know how to "loose the chains of injustice," i can "share my food with the hungry." we told eric we'd probably see him around again. we also told him that we occasionally sense the need for awkward rejections and make passes by rodney square on sunday mornings to see if anyone wants to go to our church, and he should feel free to accept the offer. hopefully we'll see him again.

coming soon...

2007-09-26T07:12:00.001-05:00

to an itunes store near you...unless you're in japan. november 20 is the release date.

good is good

2007-09-19T11:56:00.001-05:00

while i have much more to say on the subject of politics (and specifically the war), i'll curb it for fear of alienating some of my faithful readers. that, and anything i have to say is nothing new, anyways. i'll heed aaron's words from a comment on kyle's blog: "the masses want to be entertained...not challenged." touche without the accent mark, my friend, touche without the accent mark. while we're on the subject, as a matter of fact i do have a new musical talent to recommend. he's not really new, though. he's been around a while. he made a name for himself in the boston coffee shop scene. a few weeks ago, i had a discussion with my brother about how it bothers him that some people are musically counter-culture just for the sake of being counter-culture. kind of like when i used to only wear white t-shirts for the sake of not wearing abercrombie and fitch, or gap, or whatever else was popular. mike would frequently enlighten me: "you know, by not making a statement you're making a statement." touche without the accent mark. my brother's contention: good music is good music even if it is popular. well, i agree. good music is good music. it's just that the masses don't know what good music is. my wife examined this phenomenon last night when she questioned (in regards to the below recommendation), "why don't you hear about this stuff?" good question, indeed. so, for all you counter-culturers discontented with radio, folks who are content with radio and frustrated with counter-culturers, or the completely indifferent (which is how i classify myself...i think), add some good music to your collection:

terry- i think you'll be happy to know that i got this album totally free! check out emusic.com. you can sign up for a free trial and get 25 free downloads. you just have to cancel before they start charging you. i'm just an enabler.

painful reminder

2007-09-10T20:56:00.001-05:00

it's the sixth anniversary of the most heinous attack on american soil. no one should mistake those acts for anything other than evil. six years later, you would hope that our nation's response would have reduced anti-american sentiment in the volatile middle east. instead, a preemptive, unilateral war has fueled more anti-american sentiment around the world and left nearly 100,000 iraqi civilians dead according to one independent estimate. even if you prescribe to "an eye for an eye," this response is hardly morally tenable. today, i commit to praying not only for the families of those lost on 9/11, but also for the iraqi people. i plea for you to do the same. iraqi fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters fell victim to an unrelenting foreign policy. if we could only hold their lives as precious as we hold ours...every individual life counts in God's eyes.

consider the prophetic words of a man we all admire. a man who gave his life to support the non-violence that we can't live up to:

"a nation that continues to spend year after year more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is a nation approaching spiritual death."
- Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

three years old

2007-08-31T11:27:00.002-05:00

our marriage turns three years old in four days. we grew a lot during year one, but, then, i guess we still are. the two's weren't so terrible. three's been charming. i'm shocked that you still live with me. after an excruciating year of living in the same room as me, kyle needed a year hiatus to recover. maybe he's still recovering with the rest of them. they probably meet once a month and begin every meeting with, "my name's (insert mike, kyle, nick, sean, pocket, chris, dee, etc...), and i'm recovering from the wavy..." (sorry, little inside for all you outside readers). ok, this isn't where i meant this blog to go. clean it up, ben. what i mean to say is: i love you. not the way that i love a shirt or my alma mater. t-shirts fade. texas tech will loose this season and let me down. and they don't love me back. i love you unconditionally. even when we're fighting...i love you. when i fail to communicate...i still love you. when you're insecure about my love for you...i love you. in the words of olivia, "i'm hopelessly devoted to you." (pause for me to put the cheese back in the refrigerator). what makes it so cool is that i know you feel the same way about me. i'm especially reminded of your love and support for me this year. even right now as i write this blog. you're at work educating our youth and i'm at home filling out applications and writing this blog. you can be so selfless. i've been anticipating this weekend for months. i didn't get you any expensive gifts...or inexpensive gifts...because i know you're not into that. sometimes that's really frustrating because i want to get you gifts all the time, but i know you'd rather me not spend that money on you. you can be so selfless. marriage is weird. it can be so upsetting, disappointing, discouraging, draining...but, there's also something so right about it. i guess that makes the sweet times all the more sweet. i feel sorry for all those hollywood stars that can't make a relationship work for more than a decade (at best) because they never get to experience the joy of a commitment like ours. i wish everyone got to experience love like ours. happy three year! off to cape may...

raid to the rescue

2007-08-28T14:33:00.001-05:00

a few weeks ago, when chris was in town, something happened to me that i hadn't experienced since 6th grade: i was stung. i managed to avoid the discomforting experience for 15 years because i cunningly outwitted all stinging insects by running like a little girl at the sight (or even mention) of said monster. i loathe being stung. i know no one likes it. but, really...i loathe it. if i were given the choice of sterility or getting stung, i'd actually think about it. yesterday, i had the privileged honor ridding the earth of 25 of these purposeless bastards. enjoy.

jesus was homeless

2007-08-12T14:15:00.001-05:00

gotta get some thoughts down before i forget and become idle. be warned: if you read this book that i'm about to recommend you'll be forced to confront your lifestyle and change it. or you can, of course, choose to ignore truth and suppress your conscious until it goes away (which is what i usually do). i've been reading this book called the irresistible revolution by shane claiborne. i've taken notes on it but have managed to loose them. hopefully someone else picked them up and finds them interesting. shane is living proof that the pen is mightier than the sword, and that a life is mightier than the pen. i told ali that the book's helped me read the gospel with fresh eyes. take away the preconceived notions from vacation bible school and jesus doesn't look like people that go to church. take away the clever rationales i've made to justify my way of living and the gospel really is dangerous. what if he actually meant what he said? "blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." "...it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." "if someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." i don't get persecuted. that sort of thing was for early christians. before we got "civilized." then how come civilized religious people couldn't stand jesus' message? if he were to preach in our churches today, he'd get kicked out. he'd be persecuted. he was homeless, for goodness sakes. how many homeless people preach at your church? how many homeless people are in your congregation? how can i praise a homeless man on sunday and ignore one on monday? i scared ali two nights ago. i know God wants christians to be revolutionary. shane claiborne is. i told ali that something revolutionary was going to happen in our lives. i'm not sure what it is. but i don't want to remain complacent. i think i had a terry experience. here are some ideas:

- don't go back to my previous employer and get involved in a homeless ministry before i go to medical school

- get my church more involved with the poor (somehow?).

- when i graduate medical school (and residency), start a practice solely for the homeless and poor. they're ostracized by our health care system.

- give away most of my clothes to homeless...personally. it's too easy to drop it off at goodwill. what if he was talking to all of us when he told the rich man to sell his possessions and give the money to the poor? even if he wasn't, what if i lived my life like he were talking to me? that would be revolutionary.

- downsize. we don't live in a large place now, but we could give away most of our furniture and move to a small apt.

- tell my parents that i'm opposed to the war in iraq. i guess i just did. i don't understand how christians became so mislead to believe that jesus taught us to fight violence with more violence. bombing your enemies is not loving them. what if jesus meant what he said?

- visit shane at simple way and find out what i can do

no answers. just some crazy ideas. not sure which of these bullets i'll actually follow through with. if people think i'm nuts, i must be on to something. read the book. his stories just may change your life. i'd love to send everyone a copy. but, instead, i encourage you to check it out at your local public library. take the money you would have used and buy a sandwich for a homeless person. act quick. i can already feel my inspiration dwindling.

here's an excerpt:
"the scriptures describe the early jesus movement like this: 'we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless...we have become the scum of the earth, the garbage of the world' (1 cor. 4:11-13). our context is quite different. we live among the wealthiest people of the world (top 2 percent), a tough mission field. we are preaching a gospel that declares that it's easier to fit a camel through the eye of a needle than for the rich to enter the kingdom. but look on the bright side. after we preach the crowds down, we will not need such expensive buildings. and of course, in a christian culture shopping for the cheapest grace, the temptation is always to tone things down a little bit. people will be more comfortable around a domesticated jesus than the lion of judah."

you're on candid camera...in my head!

2007-08-07T21:06:00.001-05:00

chris and i were able to traverse quite a bit of philly today and most of northern delaware yesterday. needless to say we experienced some great people watching...and listening. i'm going to start walking around with a pen and paper to record out of context quotes overheard while droppin' eaves. not really. that's just something i say. enjoy:

girl (spoken to a man my age)- "i know you feel like he's your grandchild..."
herd of girls- "and then i pinched joe's nipple..."
guy from new orleans (to me)- "get the hell outta here!"
stop the violence guy (after a few coins were given to him and others were exposed)- "i'll take those too." as long as he stopped the violence...
me- "can you tell me how to get to highway one?" parking lot attendant- "which one?" me- "one". parking lot attendant- "yeah, which one?"
wine tasting lady (after sufficient sampling of her own)- "you can really taste the tannins in this one. it's a bit aggressive. it really stands up and smacks you in the face. but then retreats and it's like woooooooooosh."
situation: chris and i dressed in street clothes. man dressed in business attire approaches us and asks, "do you guys work at barclay? can i park here?"
minor league pa announcer- "the beer garden is open all game. kids come on over and get some..."
chris- "sir, are you working here?" attendant remains silent, escorts chris to other side of booth 20 feet over, and hand gestures to woman behind booth.
chris (upon leaving stadium)- "can we get out here?" attendant remains silent and watches us.
waitress- "careful guys, this plate is thermonuclear."
guitar shop guy asks me (with my justin cofield band shirt on)- "what's your shirt? justin cofield band?"
philly mexican delicacy- corn on the cob, mayonaisse, and parmesan cheese. it's like drugs!
fellow wine taster asks chris- "you been to top gun?"
wine tasting lady (after even more sampling of her own)- "even though this one is well balanced, it's young. it's like running up stairs and bam! you hit a brick wall."
blue rocks fan- "i have multiple degress from texas tech..." (10 seconds later in the same conversation)- "...i have multiple degrees from texas tech."

(notice kung fu artist in background)

blogger's block

2007-08-03T15:56:00.001-05:00

ever think, "i've got to write a blog about _____," and then never write it? i've had so many never-arrived blogs that i've convinced myself not to write deserving blogs out of respect for my graveyard of never-arrivals. what i mean is- when i have what i would consider a good blog idea, i usually don't write about it because i'm not convinced it deserves precedence over the many better blog ideas that have been patiently waiting in the write-me line. then, the line gets so overwhelmingly long that all the good blog ideas finally get fed up and leave. maybe they take the self-checkout line. hopefully they don't get stuck behind an elderly lady who, for whatever reason, decided to try her hand at technology that day...in front of me...with a coupon that won't scan. i read others' blogs, too. some of my friends are really good writers. so good that i think, "why should i even bother to write when he/she can write like that?" and i'm lazy. i'd like to promise you (the reader) and myself (the reader) that i'd be better about blogging and start writing frequent and profound blogs from here on, but i won't live up to that standard. here's my attempt to anyway.

i haven't read the Bible on my own in a while- ever since i took the mcat. i really don't think i did very well on it. but, the good news is i can (and most likely will) take it again. quite honestly, i felt betrayed. forgotten. let down. by God. feelings are so fickle. i've second guessed my decision to leave my job more than once. i guess it's no longer second guessing. i know leaving it was inevitable, so i'm not sure why i care. it just wasn't me. i don't care how to manufacture things more efficiently. i want to have a more meaningful impact. i feel the weight of responsibility like i never have. i have a wife to provide for, but she's doing more of the providing these days. her ultimate goal is to get back to texas. i'm not sure if i'll get into a medical school there since we're no longer texas residents. she's there right now recording an album at kyle's studio. she's having a blast and i know the album's going to be outstanding. yesterday, she reminded me how much more she enjoys texas. there's been so much more going on in the past couple of months that i'm not at liberty to write about in a public forum. i couldn't make it ambiguous enough to not offend someone that i don't want to offend. i used to never admit when i was depressed. i think i was too proud to let others know that i was failing at life. it's not a chronic thing. i don't have a "chemical imbalance." it's just every now and again, maybe once a year for a week or two, i feel like a victim. i'm not. i know that. no one's out to get me. but, sometimes it feels like they are. if anyone has advice to offer, i'm certainly not above it. please, no pity. i'm not asking for that. just hoping to get some stuff out and maybe convince myself to forgive and seek forgiveness. note to self: consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds because you'll gain confidence in God's ability to make things right and new. don't be too arrogant to not seek the wisdom that you don't have. oh yeah, and by the way, if you feel like a victim maybe you are, but, most likely, it's in your head.

chris is coming to town tomorrow. to coin a phrase from the kids on the x-games, i'm totally stoked about that. i should have some good pictures. or something.

unemployment and friendship...what great ideas!

2007-06-14T14:07:00.001-05:00

as you should have noticed from the title, i no longer have a job. i'm going to school. i'm actually taking a class with a couple 17 year olds in it...born in the 90's! i'll say no more about how old that makes me feel for fear of alienating my really old readers (dad). it's definitely weird. but, i'm enjoying it. ali goes to work and wins bread while i sleep in till about 8:15am. next summer session i have a class that starts at 8am, so i'm not getting to used to it. we're finally getting friends here! friends are fun. having fun is fun. we have a couple couple friends, now. (see previous post for further interpretation). we met them through church. we go to a sweet church. the 36 year old pastor plays drums and then preaches. anyways, the most important part about our new friends (aside from them being awesome) is that they truly appreciate chris farley's last masterpiece- almost heroes. we're already making plans that we'll probably never follow through with...like, "we should go camping....","definitely." there's another couple friend that i wished we hung out with more- terry and libby- they have kids. check out their blog at http://greylias.wordpress.com. i truly enjoy our new friends...they're almost as good as texas ones.

i'll have a couple...make that two

2007-05-03T09:38:00.000-05:00

why does everyone pluralize MCAT? there's one Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT), not two, or three. maybe after i take my MCATs, we can go to the wal-marts and buy some foods. and..."a couple" has never meant "a few". that's why a married couple involves two people. so, for the last time, if i ask for a couple to-go boxes, or a couple napkins, or a couple phillies tickets, i want two, and two only. hey, barber guy, a vasectomy is not a procedure to remove cancerous brain tissue through the nose- watch less tv and read a book!

2007-04-29T16:58:00.001-05:00

i don't have enough pictures on my blog. here's a few of my favorites.

muir woods

rocks (in arkansas)

washington
colorado

constant change

2007-04-15T13:23:00.001-05:00

haven't posted in a while. didn't mean to disappoint my readers (both of them), but a lot has been going on in my life lately and blogging took the backseat (hmmmm...i'm not sure when blogging has ever taken the front seat...). i feel like throughout my life i haven't really been given the opportunity to make life-altering decisions. let me explain. i grew up in north houston- didn't have any say in that. i inherited a thriving lawn/powerwashing business in high school. i went to texas tech because a&m had too many applicants. i majored in industrial engineering because i got a small scholarship to do that. i worked at nine30 because i pretty much did that anyways, why not get paid for it? i accepted a position as an engineer in flagstaff, az because that's the only job i was offered. i married ali because i love her and i might as well be married to her. granted, it was in my power to make different decisions, but i was too green to know that. sometimes i think this was all God's provision in my life. if i had to do it over again and was given alternatives, i'm not sure i would have chosen any different. the point being- i've really never had to think very hard about major, life-changing decisions; i just acted. now, i've got a wife (beautiful i might add), and she makes me think about everything more than i ever did. she does it unknowingly. i never even paid attention to the type of cheese i bought at the grocery store. now, it's non-sliced, acme brand sharp cheddar. i never thought about what time i would leave for the airport until an hour before i left for the airport. now, this is planned a week in advance. i spent at least 15 minutes one time at the store quizzing female passers by on what kind of makeup remover they use because i forgot my cell phone. (aside- if you're ever in a similar situation, don't ask an ugly person). as you may well know, my intention is to go to medical school in the near future. near is relative in the sense that i'm hoping to live at least another 40 years. i didn't really bother to plan the logistics of such a task, i just figured that would work itself out just like everything else in my life. however, ali forced me to realize that i we have a decision to make and that we can be proactive in making it. after restless nights, advice-seeking, budgeting, prayer, and thought, we've decided that i will (in the next few weeks) leave my job and concentrate solely on pre-medical coursework and mcat. i feel empowered that we're making this decision on our own and that i have the full support of my wife. it's risky, but what life-decision isn't? i was talking with my dad yesterday, and he reminded me how lucky i am to actually know what i want to do and have a wife and family that supports it. there's so many people that have worked the same tedious job for 20+ years because they never found what they enjoy or never got support for it. now, they've lost their passion for anything and they've become complacent with their steady paycheck. i'm nervous, but excited. hopefully, in the next year i'll be accepted to a medical school and we'll know where we'll be. this summer's going to be really busy for me, but after it's over i plan on doing a little traveling to see some friends i haven't seen in a while (if we have some leftover money). to my great dismay, i won't even be going to bull shoals this summer. sad. oh yeah...and i'm going to be an uncle in december! congratulations nick and amy! here's my best guess as to what the kid will look like:

switchfeet

2007-03-12T09:22:00.001-05:00

christine (ali's older younger sister- think about it...there ya go) has been in town for the past few days. i got her a present. one of those presents that you really get for yourself but having someone in town gives you an excuse. switchfoot on south street in philly. tla was the venue. nice. intimate. crowded. way too many people to be legal. i admit, i was a connoisseur (unsure about spelling but i'm sure kyle will correct me) of the beautiful letdown. haven't followed them much since. they've had two albums that have released virtually unnoticed (at least to me)- nothing is sound and oh gravity. post-concert, i've expanded my switchfoot repitua (spelling once again...what's with the french words?) to include more than the beautiful letdown. they rocked! definately in my top 3 concerts. i was actually surprised by how much they rocked. my face melted they rocked so much. the lead singer (jon foreman) let us in on some untimely misfortune in the family; so, his bassist brother (tim) was unable to make it to the show. they let a myriad of folks play bass for them- anyone from the guy who usually tunes their guitars to some other stagehand guy. they played at least two hours. sweat and all. best song- shadow proves the sunshine as he walked amongst the crowd. i don't have a picture of the show, so enjoy this picture of our cats.

you're such a mongolian monk

2007-02-17T15:28:00.001-06:00

i once got in an argument with a philosophy major from northern arizona university about the effectiveness of personality profiles. i learned two things: (1) don't argue with philosophy majors, they think too much, and (2) i was wrong. we had one of those diversity workshops at work. someone asks you an incredibly open ended question and you're supposed to break up into groups of eight or so and discuss. "why do we care about diversity?" in my head i'm thinking i really don't know. "ben, what do you think?" crap. i didn't want anyone else to know what was in my head. a couple weeks ago, i walked down south street in philadelphia. on south street, you brush shoulders with the poor, the wealthy, drop outs, gothics, grunge rockers, black people, asian people, white people, rude people, kind people, the fashion obsessed, the fashion recessed (i fall into that category),...you get the idea. i can't help but think that it's only this way because no one cares to label anyone else. a person is a person. if you called attention to the fact that there weren't enough mongolian monks walking around south street, then, when someone actually did see a mongolian monk, he wouldn't be just another person...he'd be a "mongolian monk". this is why diversity works there. no labels. by contrast, in corporate america, labels abound. everyone's a statistic meant to fill a quota or an image. i know, that's a little extreme. but you get the idea. by calling attention to the "problem", you've exasperated it. i was wrong because i put too much weight in the validity of a personality profile. they're generalizations. labels. if you're like me, you never really fit into a category. i'm not saying don't do personality profiles. they're fun. sometimes the questions you have to answer about yourself expose qualities you do or don't like. they're not completely useless. but this post isn't about personality profiles. moral of the story: if you really want to know someone, put in time to understand that person because a category doesn't define anyone. i'm not on my own in thinking like this- "...there is neither jew nor greek, slave nor free, male nor female...". just for fun, try replacing "corporate america" with "church" in the sentence above. is it true? i hope not. i read an article on mute math about how they didn't want to be labeled as a "christian" band. i can't blame them, the word "christian" can itself be a label. thoughts?

2007-01-21T20:20:00.001-06:00

once you're no longer in college and you've succumbed to the false ideal that money is important, you have conversations like this (it's been simplified a bit):

me- "so, what do you do?" (this question wouldn't have made sense 4 years ago)
other dude- "i'm a c.p.a., you?" (this answer wouldn't have made sense 4 years ago)
me- "i'm an engineer." then, i asked the question i always want to ask accountants (no offense to my huge accountant readership). "do you enjoy what you do?"
other dude- "sometimes it feels meaningful when you catch white collar crime. but, it's usually pretty boring. if money weren't an issue, would i do something else? yeah, i'd probably work outside and do something i enjoy. but, let's face it, that doesn't pay the bills. i mean, i've got the most secure job in the marketplace. it's safe."

there's nothing wrong with this guy. he's a good guy. i'm no better. but, if he just could have heard it from my perspective...welcome to corporate america- where dreams and ambitions are exchanged for security. maybe we're bored...but, at least we're safe!

2007-01-18T17:55:00.001-06:00

what you are about to read is a brilliant display of masterful teamwork. the subjects of this story should remain anonymous...so, for the purposes of this story i'll use fake names. to begin, think back with me, if you will, to december 16, 2006. (don't actually spend time to think about it...just keep reading.) yao ming graduated from tee tee university. a major accomplishment. one for which yao ming's family and friends are very proud. being one of yao ming's family members...or friends...ali and i decided to purchase the most universal gift one can buy- a wal mart gift card. can't go wrong. we were not yet aware of its true universality (it's a word...no red-line). fast forward to around christmas. one of the gifts i was most pleased to discover was a wireless router because ours had crapped out a few weeks earlier. the giver was richard cranium (we'll call him...or her..."dick"). dick and yao are together. (i'm going to pause there and reprimand myself for ever having written such a phrase). fast forward again. now we're home in delaware and i make one of my all too frequent descents to the basement in anxious anticipation of uninhibited internet access...only to find that the router doesn't work. good chance i don't know how to make it work, but decided to get one of those cable-modem-&-wireless router-in-one things anyway. lucky for us, dick and yao left the receipt for the wal-mart purchase with the gift. no problem. we'll just take the router back and get some sweet green for it. to wal-mart we go. i used to love wal-mart. when we ran out of toilet paper in the apartment, i'd go to wal-mart not to buy more t.p., but to use their bathroom. i loved it. it was so much cleaner than ours. ok...that was texas. don't live there any more. no one bothered to tell me that every wal-mart outside of texas sucks! i once asked a wal-mart employee why she wouldn't help me when her vest said- "i'm here to help". she went to find someone who could help me with that question. also, after living in a semi-small town (flagstaff), you start to care more about the local man. back to the story. the wal-mart returns clerk hands me $22 in cash and a $41 gift card in exchange for the router. "can i get all cash?" i ask. "no", she replies. in true wal-mart employee fashion. no explanation. after prying, i find out that the router was originally purchased with $41 on a gift card and $22 in cash. crap! i guess it's not that bad. i just didn't want to have to go back to wal-mart to spend it. and...it's in maryland...i'm not a fan of maryland. ali and i ponder the best way to spend our wal-mart gift card over mcdonald's fries. (it's one of those wal-marts with a mcdonald's inside). i no longer have an immunity built up to the toxins that are mcdonald's fries. i feel terrible. it took me a bit to connect the dots, but...wait a second...i bet dick and yao used the gift card we gave yao for graduation to buy us the router. those cheap-jobs! "i have the perfect idea. let's use the wal-mart gift card to buy an itunes gift card. that way we really don't have to spend it at wal-mart!", i blurt. yeah...that way we can really stick it to the man and spend it on someone who could really use it...apple? anyway, i thought it was perfect. ali fires back with, "nope. even better. we use the gift card to buy dick an itunes gift card for his upcoming birthday!" yes. indeed. i admit. it was ultimate redemption. she was right. that is the perfect way to spend our gift card. so...we did. dick will be receiving two $25 itunes gift cards for his...or her...birthday. truly the gift that keeps on giving. (two $25's instead of one $50 because it's more gifts and the dude on the $25's has some sweet hair). great teamwork, babe. unrelated- i delayed getting david gray's life in slow motion by about a year and a half. not my brightest move.

2006-12-22T21:05:00.000-06:00

headed to houston to visit the in-laws for christmas. no work for a week! i dare someone other than kyle to write a comment. that means someone other than kyle would have to read this...i dare someone other than kyle to read this.

2006-12-13T17:57:00.000-06:00

haven't posted in a while. here's what's been going on- went to colorado for thanksgiving, joined a gym (i'm huge, now), dad came to east coast for business and stayed at our place, went to nyc with pappy (who'd never been), saw skimpy outfits with women in them otherwise known as chicago (the play, not my idea), ali cut my mullet but i haven't cut the rest of my hair, completed organic chemistry I, worked more than i would have liked...which means i worked more than 20 hours/week, and saw apacalypto . check out www.aliandben.blogspot.com for more details on the colorado trip. about chicago, the play. i know i'm going to sound like a complete, old fashioned prude, but...i think of the frog in the boiling pot syndrome. you put a frog in a boiling pot, he jumps out. you put a frog in a pot with lukewarm water and slowly heat it to boiling, he slowly meets his doom. never tested this. don't know if it's true, but the analogy will do. the point being, the frog (representing society) becomes desensitized to the condition of his surroundings. the first line of the play went something like this- "this is a play with deceit, murder, promiscuity, and adultery: all those things that we hold near and dear to our hearts" (audience laughs). wait a second. we're not supposed to laugh at that. oh...but it's just for fun. hey...gwen stefani makes terrible music just for fun...and our nation suffers for it. i say "our nation" more as a prayer that it hasn't actually caught on anywhere else. ok, i just stepped off the soapbox. by the way, apacalypto...it's incredible. terribly violent. not for the faint at heart...or anyone who thought that the passion of the christ went too far. anyone else seen it? thoughts?

2006-11-20T19:14:00.001-06:00

to my fellow music enthusiasts:
notable artists/albums that you may or should know about-
- greg laswell/through toledo - delightfully melancholy (i feel like will ferrell's impression of james lipton as i write that)
- tim seely/funeral music - clem snidelicious (but weirder)
- feist/let it die - canadian
- steve reynolds/exile - nice acoustic guitar
- marc cohn/marc cohn live 04-05 - should have been much, much more than a one hit wonder
- counting crows/august and everything after - just for good measure

2006-11-12T18:58:00.002-06:00

i forgot to create a title for the second blog that i posted and it hasn't asked me for a title since. you snooze you loose. went to nyc this weekend. there was four of us- ali, aaron, bermaliz, myself. the purpose was twofold: (1) meet up with sarah, and (2) bodies exhibit (i'll get to this in a bit). started the round-trip around 9:20 am on saturday (est). arrived at metropark, nj around 11 am (that's smokin' time), caught the njt train around 11:46 am, at penn station in manhattan around 12:40 pm. rockefeller center, watch kids fall while ice-skating (in their defense, i definitely wouldn't do any better, which is why i didn't do it), veteran's parade, chicken kabob from the street stand, subway, greenwich village, pizza, record store, pet really fat cat, watch kid fall while playing street ball with guys twice his size (in his defense, i definitely wouldn't do any better, which is why i didn't play), subway, brooklyn by accident, buy gospel album from passing ruffian, subway, back to manhattan on purpose, bodies exhibit...we'll pause here for a bit. if you ever happen to be in seattle, las vegas, miami, or nyc and you don't have a really weak stomach- do yourself a favor and go check this out. the bodies exhibit is a collection of real human bodies on display that have been preserved through a polymer process. www.bodiestheexhibition.com/. it was, quite possibly, the most amazing, awe-inspiring thing i've ever witnessed. some german doctor figured a method to preserve these chinese bodies that were donated to him. there's some controversy over it because it sounds like most (if not all) of the bodies had not been identified. these bodies had been dissected and exposed for everyone to see the inner workings of us (for a small fee of $25). you could walk right up to them. they weren't behind glass or anything. the entire musculature, bone structure, organs, nerve system, circulatory system (the best one), pathology, reproductive system, and the different stages of a fetus were all completely exposed. i'll take a second to write about the circulatory one. the vessels were injected with some liquid polymer that solidified after injection, and then the body was dissolved in some highly reactant solvent. so, all that was left was the framework of all the vessels in the body. these vessel frames were enclosed and suspended in some clear solution. i think the statistic was- if all of your vessels were a continuous strand, it would be 60,000 miles long. this thing wasn't gross at all. i can say this because ali didn't think it was gross and she's still disturbed from the miracle of life video in 7th grade (as am i). after that, it was back to the subway, times square, espn zone, watch red raiders choke as usual. i met an oklahoma fan that grew up in kingwood, my home town. small world. she and her husband live in las cruces, nm. the fact that anyone at all lives there proves mick jagger's theory- you can't always get what you want. after espn zone, back to penn station to catch the njt train back to metropark. by this time, it's around 12 am and all of us are pretty beat. as it turns out, there was some problem with a bridge up ahead and the train couldn't leave. so, i decided to take it upon myself to find an alternative route. there's another train called the path. i wanted to catch that one in the hopes that it would get us closer to where we wanted to be. also, we've gained another unsuspecting follower that actually thinks i know what i'm doing. she's from nj and she was visiting some friends in the city. ali and her connected while in the first train that never left because ali was pretty upset with the more-direct-than-she's-used-to attitudes in nyc and this lady sympathized with her. ali wouldn't stop cursing the city. i think she's over it now. we manage to get on a train that takes us to a place where we can catch another train that takes us to another place where we can catch another train that will hopefully take us somewhere. we gained two more unsuspecting fools...i mean followers. getting off the train before we hopped the last train was much like what i'd picture the hebrew exodus from egypt to be like...if everyone one of them had to fit through a two-door opening. it was quite a scene. we were tired. the lady that tagged along with us was so appreciative and i think we should have been the appreciative ones because she lifted our spirits when things sucked. she was a therapist for abused children. yeah, the kind of job that makes everyone else feel like a heathen. she told us about this trip to tibet she made many years ago that inspired her to write a book. she said she was a christian and viewed the things she saw from that prospective. it's not published. i'll read it if it ever does get published. we made it back to the car at around 2:00 am. the most grueling trip i've ever taken was driving from houston to colorado springs in one shot. dad and i made the 16-hr, nonstop trip. one drove while the other one slept (or closed their eyes, rather) in the incredibly uncomfortable bed of the truck. it was excruciating. this two hour trip to delaware was worse. i'm home. we're home. we got in around 4:15 am. we're alive. interesting day.

2006-10-29T20:11:00.001-06:00

ever wonder who created the english language and why? neither do i. i hear all time the about how insufficient the english language is relative to others. for instance, greek has 3 kinds of love- eros, phileo, and agape...english has one- love. blah blah blah. i took 3 years of spanish in high school and remember about three words- taco, burrito, and hacer (thanks to nicks and dan's spanglish). so, i'm not the best qualified to comment on the insufficiency of english. but, i've come across a couple things that bother me about our language, lately. i don't think interstates should be called that. the "inter" prefix sounds too much like "inner" which completely changes the intended meaning. the word "cleave" means to adhere firmly and closely. but, the word "cleavage" basically means the state of being split. where's the consistency? i have more english conundrums, but i'm tired. i don't have any suggestions for improvement, that requires too much thought. just thought i'd express a couple observations.

2006-10-14T22:47:00.001-05:00

you can see i'm really into this blog thing seeing as it's been about a month since my last blog. forgive me. (that felt catholic). it's saturday night...i'm pretty bored. my wife is out with sarah, whom has found a temporary establishment at our home, doing whatever it is that girls do when they go out. i haven't been alone in a long, long time. i went to the blue hens game today after my lab and sat in the student's section for a quarter. then i left. oh yeah, the university of delaware mascot is the blue hen. sorry minnesota, the wussiest mascot award goes to...delaware. it was a little weird being around a bunch of people that are really good friends and not knowing any of them. i looked at a mult-listing service for houston tonight, in case i happen to get into a med school there. it's ridiculous how inexpensive things are there. i've decided that we really should live in a downtown area. i decided that years ago. i appreciate the diversity and energy of it all. i'd like to park on the street and walk right up to my front door step. i'd like a townhome with a brick facade right in downtown. not too large. not too fancy. i'd like to be able to walk out of my front door, do an immediate right (or left) face, and walk a block or two to a cafe with live music. this is, of course, completely selfish of me. the problem with all of this downtown nonsense is that i can't convince my wife this is our proper destiny; hence, it probably won't be. but, i'll keep thinking about it until we have kids. i'd love to raise kids there, too. they'd have a respect for cultural diversity and get exposed to, what i believe to be, the best community (besides church). they would, most likely, get exposed to many things we might not want them to be exposed to. but, i'd pray that they would have a strong faith in Christ that wouldn't let them be satisfied by things less than Him. i wouldn't, however, pray for their safety. that may change when i actually have kids. but, in my hypothetical scenario, i wouldn't. when you're put in situations that aren't safe, you learn more about yourself because your fears are exposed. then you can work to overcome them. by unsafe situations, i mean things outside your comfort zone...what you're used to. complacency sucks. God doesn't use complacent people to do things that people read about centuries later. i once heard someone say, "i don't want to be remembered after i die". then, why live? i used to actively challenge myself to do things that i normally wouldn't. like...introduce myself to complete strangers. i once invited a homeless person to have lunch with me. he declined the offer. but, the next homeless person didn't. it ended up being an experience that i'll never forget. if i had of listened to my "safe", "complacent" attitude, i wouldn't have had it. i'm not tooting my own horn, because i'm the worst of offenders. it's easy to do the same crap every day and forget that you're doing it. i don't think jesus would live in the suburbs...it's just too safe...it's too what americans are supposed to do when they "settle down". i don't condemn anyone who enjoys the suburban life, i simply aim to give my opinion about my own life. when it comes down to it, i'm in a coninuous compromise with my wife called "marriage". ultimately, her opinion counts more than my own because she's the most precious thing in life to me. and, during our last move, she really was open to the idea of urban life. it just didn't work out. who knows where we'll move next. but there's some really sweet townhomes in downtown houston...and philly.

holy crap! i can't believe i'm doing this

2006-09-22T21:13:00.000-05:00

i don't do capital letters...or blogs...so, i guess that meaNs a capital letter will occasionaly sneak in, now. let's be clear, i've never done blogs because i've felt like they're too addictive. when i decide to engage in something, i can be pretty intense. last saturday, i neglected my wife because i was hypmotized by the most demoralizing display of sports chagrin ever shown on outdoor life network. no, i'm not talking about men's rowing. texas tech was sorely defeated by a seemingly lesser tcu opponent. tcu doesn't even have real fans. a misguided youth was captured on film contorting his knuckles in some sorry excuse for a horned frog symbol. that's sad. i don't even think he wanted to. his eyes were discontent. i love reading wikipedia articles on advanced statistics. to be fair, i use a lot of it for work. but, i read them in my leisure time. the point being, i'm easily addicted...or obsessed...and now i'm getting into coffee. ali and i have our own blog which she pretty much manages and does a superb job i might add. i've read kyle's blog and found some comfort in reconnecting with him through his thoughts. so, i'm giving it a chance. (chance, see probablility- Informally, probable is one of several words applied to uncertain events or knowledge, being closely related in meaning to likely, risky, hazardous, and doubtful. Chance, odds, and bet are other words expressing similar notions, from wikipedia). i'll take a moment to catch others up on my life. but, kyle and ali are likely the only ones to read this, so i don't really need to. ali's my wife, we got married 9-4-04. she's beautiful. after tech, we lived in flagstaff, az. after flagstaff (this is where caleb chooses to add infection), we moved to delaware. it's small. but, we like it. there's a lot to see. 45 min. from philly, 1 hr. from baltimore (officer foster ruined that city for me), 1.25 hr. from the beach, 2.75 hours from nyc...etc. disclaimer: all times normally distributed, given in means. so, at this rate, we have an equally likely chance to end up in any state next. but, texas really has a better chance, because it's big...and we like it...and miss it...and friends are there...not just any friends...our friends...not that we don't have friends here...we have five...if you count our cats. i hope to attend med. school in 2-3 years. i think i have a good chance to attend one in texas. i'm taking organic chemistry at university of delaware. so, if you're looking to fill some time, i recommend tennis. sorry for the statistics theme. i'll get better at this.